dear life

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dear life:

i know you thought i was gone. i mean, it’s not like you didn’t try. mama sez if i had half a brain, i’da given up. i know you heard dat, yo.

but see, you don’t know my mama. see, mama knowed something you didn’t. mama knowed i have more than half a brain. so here i am, again, under your boot. and it’s okay, ‘cause i’ve learned to enjoy the view, and da company ain’t bad, neither.

lemme school you ona secret, life, yo. i was a lonely-ass kid. i couldn’t have rubbed 2 fucken enemies together to squeeze out a single spark of interest in my life. i useta sit in the side of the classroom, not at the back, but at the side, near the window. know why? ‘cause dat’s where the sun was.

i learned to fight by getting my ass kicked, every day. at some point, i realized that if i told my brain not to notice the pain—or even to enjoy it a little bit, then i was like, superman. mama sezs i taught my brain to release endorphins instead of stress hormones.

like i sed. mama knowed i got more than half a brain.

so, i learned to take their punches. after a while, i’d look them in their eyes, and say, ‘your arms are starting to get heavy, yo.’ they’d give me a flinch, just a li’l one, like they saw ghosts in my eyes. then, they’d—every time—hit me as hard as they could.

that’s when i would start to smile. true story, yo.

see, that’s you, life. you’s my bitch, you just haven’t figured it out yet. ‘cause i only got 2 gifts from my father—not that pimp-ass fuck’r who spermdonated my mom—i mean my father, who art in heaven, bitch. he gave me 2 things: the other half of my brain, and the absolute, stubborn refusal to lose.

see, it don’t matter who fights the best. the winner is the one who quits last.

and just like them little bitchass bullies from my oaktown days, i look in your eyes, see you are just tired enough at beatin’ me down, and then i rise, pop you squareass in da nose, break dat shit, and rise, muffuga, rise.

and you can best believe, once i get to rising, not you, not them, not holy jesus hisself gon’ keep me down. and just about now, i’m looking in your eyes, life,

and i see the stink of your fear.

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5 Replies to “dear life”

  1. Time to claim what’s yours and win, this time, and every time from now on. And if I can be there by your side doing it with you then I will have won too.

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