I’m Glad I’m Not in Dixie

* sung to the tune of “(I Wish I Was in) Dixie’s Land”

I’m glad I’m not in the land of cotton
where subjunctive’s long forgotten.
Stay away! Stay away!
Stay away from Dixie, man.

In Dixie Land, I’m not a king
I’m just a brown-skinned ugly thing
Stay away! Stay away!
Stay away from Dixie, man.

‘Cause I’m not a man in Dixie, No way! No way!
In other lands, I am a man
but I’m a thing in Dixie.
No way! No way! No way I’d stay in Dixie.
Away! Away! Please run away from Dixie.

Old Missus married “Will the weaver.”
Poor Will was gay, but couldn’t leave her
‘cause he’s gay! Ain’t no way, to be gay
in Dixie Land.

But when Will stayed in New York City
he found that he was sitting pretty!
He ran away! Yes away! Fuck being gay
in Dixie Land.

I’d rather die than Dixie, No Way! No Way!
In Dixie Land, I’m not a man
I’m just a thing in Dixie.
Away, away! I’ll stay away from Dixie.
Away, away! I’ll stay away from Dixie.
Away, away! I’ll stay away from Dixie.

Old Missus weren’t the fool they thought
And left the South ‘fore she was caught
Stay away! Stay away!
Stay away from Dixie, man.

She married Will just needing cover
for her pretty, female lover
Ain’t no way, to be gay, not today
Dixie Land.

I’d live in Hell ‘fore Dixie. No way! No way!
In other lands, I’m just a man
but not, the fuck, in Dixie.
No way! No way! No way I’d stay in Dixie.
Away, away! I’ll stay away from Dixie.
Away, away! Please run away from Dixie.

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